Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
