You really coming over, don't trick.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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