WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
vagina is talking i cant
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
