she was so not down for the gang bang
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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