when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
