Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
