The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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