It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
