We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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