I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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