i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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