im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
They have beer where we have blood.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
