I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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