We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
