Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
