My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
ok first of all what the fuck
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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