She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
