there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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