Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
