he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
