She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
