Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
