oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
