I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
