hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
