I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
