Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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