I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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