Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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