How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
