So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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