just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
A bitchslap is in order.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
