he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize