I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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