I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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