just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
