Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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