i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
