i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
