I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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