just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
my liver is dry heaving
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
