Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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