I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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