He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
