I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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