I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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