we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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