Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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