Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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