so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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