I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
