Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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